Parents also expect that their children will grow up to be good people; it's all about how you raise them, right?
A New York Times article by Richard Friedman, "Accepting That Good Parents May Plant Bad Seeds," describes the nightmare of raising kids who are just morally bad people - even if the parents, and the parents' other children, are fine.
. . . there is little, if anything, in peer-reviewed journals about the paradox of good parents with toxic children.
Another patient told me about his son, now 35, who despite his many advantages was short-tempered and rude to his parents — refusing to return their phone calls and e-mail, even when his mother was gravely ill.
"We have racked our brains trying to figure why our son treats us this way," he told me. "We don’t know what we did to deserve this."
Apparently very little, as far as I could tell.
Very little . . . except force him out of the womb and into the world, necessarily against his will.
Parents make the choice to reproduce, and deserve what they get. Problem is, the children - bad people or not - do not.
For better or worse, parents have limited power to influence their children. That is why they should not be so fast to take all the blame — or credit — for everything that their children become.
I think parents are very much to blame for the suffering of their children - and for the suffering their children cause others. Denying responsibility for making the very serious decision to reproduce is incredibly immature.